I did it. I totally caved. Despite the fact that I told him "no" on grabbing applications for him yesterday, when we paid the check, I grabbed one. I couldn't help it. There was a "help wanted" sign in the window.
If you think that sounds bad, you will be disgusted to find out that today, I photocopied the application and filled it out. When I was done, I gave him the whole packet to fill in for himself. Let me be clear that I am fully aware that I am acting as an enabler when I do things like this. I finished it in 20 minutes and it's not even my life that i'm filling out. Three hours after I gave him the application I was still waiting for him to finish it for himself so that we could go in to town for him to hand-deliver it. I have no ideas left on how to motivate him to do these things on his own so I tend to pull the over-protective-mommy-card sometimes. Please believe me when I tell you that I know it's wrong.
He did eventually finish filling out the application perfectly (with more than a few text reminders to him from the family room) and he did hand-deliver that application at the time I wanted him to. Let's keep our fingers crossed that he will get a call this time.
I can't help but hope that a job and his own income will get him out of his man-cave bedroom and make him mature up a little bit. Even at this moment, while I type this update, I can hear him had at work on X-Box through the ceiling and NOT on the research paper that is due in 9 days for school.
If anyone has been through this before I would love to hear from you to see how it turned out or i'm happy to hear any motivation suggestions that don't involve me re-living my teenage years for him.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
A typical Saturday morning
I am just starting this blog and I have not yet committed to whether it's going to turn in to a daily saga of dealing with my 'sloth' or whether it's just simply going to be a daily telling of my frustrations. I have so much to document where this is concerned so more will be coming, but today, I have to at least start with something.
I will preface this by saying that no matter how comical and sad I find all of this and how frustrated I am and how mean I may seem to some, I do love my son very much. It's just that some days, I want to grab him and shake him. My boyfriend tells me that it's postnatal abortion and not medically documented or legal. What does he know?
My son has been 17 years old now for exactly 3 months. His temporary driving permit expired 2 months ago. It's not that he doesn't want a car and a license to drive (at least I think he does, he hasn't said lately), it's that I'm the horrible monster that informed him that if he doesn't have a job, he doesn't need a license or a car. This does not make me mother of the year in his eyes AT ALL. Sadly, now that these 2 months of driving privileges, even with me in the car with him, have been revoked, he doesn't seem to mind. I find this strange.
I have been pushing for him to get out there and look for a job. I offer my services as chauffeur to various locations for applications constantly. My whole family and boyfriend are on board and motivated to helping him. We are the only ones interested in this. He is not!
This morning was no different. I woke up hungry. My boyfriend also woke up hungry. By some strange twist of fate, my son woke up early and hungry as well. This was my opportunity. I went upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door, entered the disaster zone and found him in his usual spot: laying in bed, in a mess of covers, watching television with his laptop open, headset at the ready. I know this scene. I walk in on it often. He is up and simply waiting for the opportunity to pounce on X-Box Live with any friend that may IM that they are up also and ready to play. As usual, there is a bottle of water on one side of him and an open bag of last nights chips that he slept with on the other. Once the door opened, he yelled "shut the door quick, when it's open, all the cold air comes in the window." I can't comprehend why he has the humidifier running and the window open while there is snow on the ground, but 'whatever'. I shut the door behind me.
I tell him that we are going to go out to breakfast. This is his favorite thing to do, by the way. He loves going out to breakfast. There is no effort to make it, clean up afterwards or pay for it. "Sure", he says. I follow up with "we are going in to Chagrin Falls for breakfast so we can eat and then you and I can walk around and you can grab some job applications." Suddenly, everything changes. He is no longer hungry and crinkles the empty bag of chips to prove his point. "Just pick me up some apps while you are out there.", he says. Of course, my response is a resounding "No" and I leave the room shaking my head unsure whether to laugh or cry. It's not even 10am and already he has set the tone for the day.
I will preface this by saying that no matter how comical and sad I find all of this and how frustrated I am and how mean I may seem to some, I do love my son very much. It's just that some days, I want to grab him and shake him. My boyfriend tells me that it's postnatal abortion and not medically documented or legal. What does he know?
My son has been 17 years old now for exactly 3 months. His temporary driving permit expired 2 months ago. It's not that he doesn't want a car and a license to drive (at least I think he does, he hasn't said lately), it's that I'm the horrible monster that informed him that if he doesn't have a job, he doesn't need a license or a car. This does not make me mother of the year in his eyes AT ALL. Sadly, now that these 2 months of driving privileges, even with me in the car with him, have been revoked, he doesn't seem to mind. I find this strange.
I have been pushing for him to get out there and look for a job. I offer my services as chauffeur to various locations for applications constantly. My whole family and boyfriend are on board and motivated to helping him. We are the only ones interested in this. He is not!
This morning was no different. I woke up hungry. My boyfriend also woke up hungry. By some strange twist of fate, my son woke up early and hungry as well. This was my opportunity. I went upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door, entered the disaster zone and found him in his usual spot: laying in bed, in a mess of covers, watching television with his laptop open, headset at the ready. I know this scene. I walk in on it often. He is up and simply waiting for the opportunity to pounce on X-Box Live with any friend that may IM that they are up also and ready to play. As usual, there is a bottle of water on one side of him and an open bag of last nights chips that he slept with on the other. Once the door opened, he yelled "shut the door quick, when it's open, all the cold air comes in the window." I can't comprehend why he has the humidifier running and the window open while there is snow on the ground, but 'whatever'. I shut the door behind me.
I tell him that we are going to go out to breakfast. This is his favorite thing to do, by the way. He loves going out to breakfast. There is no effort to make it, clean up afterwards or pay for it. "Sure", he says. I follow up with "we are going in to Chagrin Falls for breakfast so we can eat and then you and I can walk around and you can grab some job applications." Suddenly, everything changes. He is no longer hungry and crinkles the empty bag of chips to prove his point. "Just pick me up some apps while you are out there.", he says. Of course, my response is a resounding "No" and I leave the room shaking my head unsure whether to laugh or cry. It's not even 10am and already he has set the tone for the day.
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